If you contact Bridge Builders for assistance with a case of conflict between individuals, we will:
- Try to get a clear picture of the situation
- Assess, in a preliminary way, the sort of outside help that is appropriate
- Possibly recommend interpersonal mediation if the conflict is focused on only a small number of people
- Try to provide a team of two mediators - Christians who are familiar with the nature of conflicts in the church
When is interpersonal mediation likely to be appropriate?
We will not attempt mediation when we judge that the conflict is intractable. On the other hand, conflicts are sometimes more amenable to mediation than enquirers first suppose.
Mediation is appropriate when the parties who are in dispute are willing to try and resolve their disagreements, and mend broken relationships, yet do not feel able to do so without assistance. We ask that the parties take part voluntarily, mindful of the teaching of Jesus to his disciples to talk directly with those within the community who have offended us.
Interpersonal mediation is not appropriate in cases where there is no realistic chance of negotiation between the parties, or where the number of people involved would be too big for effective face-to-face dialogue. In practice, interpersonal mediation is most often conducted between two colleagues. Where the number is greater than about four to six people, we recommend exploring a process of group reconciliation instead.
Essential characteristics of interpersonal mediation
- The parties who are in dispute engage in face-to-face dialogue
- The mediators lead the process but do not determine the outcome
- The process has a definite structure
- Ground rules are agreed at the outset
- The mediators do their best to act impartially
- The aim is to promote deeper listening and understanding, and to find ways forward that address the concerns of all the parties involved
